don't give up searching for the one

¨¨Why Tony? I mean, is it the money,
the kung fu pajamas? Like, what...
what is it?

¨¨He's the one.

¨¨The one.

¨¨Yeah, I know it's kinda sappy,
but, yeah.

¨¨I'm gonna say something out loud that I've been doing a pretty good job of not
saying out loud lately.
What you and Tony have...
What I thought for a second you and I had...
What I know that Marshall and Lily have...
I want that.
I do.
I keep waiting for it to happen and waiting for it to happen,
and...
I guess I'm just...
I'm tired of waiting.
And that is all I'm going to say on that subject.

¨¨I once talked my way out of a speeding ticket?

¨¨Really?

¨¨I was heading upstate to my parents' house, doing, like, 90 on this country road, and I got pulled over.So this cop gets out of his car. He kind of swaggers on over and he's, like,
"Young lady, I have been waiting for you all day."
So I looked up at him and I said,
"I'm so sorry, Officer. I got here as fast as I could."

¨¨For real?

¨¨It's an old joke.
I know that you're tired of waiting,
and you may have to wait a little while more,
but she's on her way, Ted.
And she's getting here as fast as she can.